Ah ah Ah!! You didn't say the magic word!

Thank the good Speedo Lord for Aquablade Hydroshorts!!!

I swam 2 kilometres in 46 minutes this week!! An average of 23 minutes per kilometre, which puts me in group 2, one up from scenic swimmers!! The greatly reduced resistance compared with my old swimshorts mean that the Hydroshorts have improved my stroke!!! I feel like I position my body flatter in the water and time my leg and arm strokes more efficiently, because I no longer just fight against the drag, which is what I was doing before the advent of Aquablade technology!!!

When Seb and I did our weekly "Lung capacity improvement training" this week (which involves staying stationary underwater for as long as possible), we both achieved vastly improved lengths of time underwater compared with previous weeks. In fact, because we both did it at the same time, and we were the last people in the pool, the lifeguards came over to check that we weren't taking part in a collaborative suicide attempt. When I surfaced after a minute and 2 seconds, and Seb surfaced three seconds later, The lifeguard came over to us and said "I was getting worried about you!". We waited until we were in the changing room before we high-fived our success...

Anyway, here's a limerick I like:

As they fished his old plane from the sea,
The inventor just chortled with glee,
"I shall build" and he laughed,
"A submarine craft,
And perhaps it will fly, we shall see."

Now, some West African frogs have been known to spontaneously change sex from male to female in a single sex environment.

"If I jumped off a skyscraper into water, I think these pants would stay on" Seb told me once we were in the pool. What a strange thing to say, I thought, as I had only asked him what time it was.

Just kidding!! What had really prompted this outrageous statement was the ceremonious unveiling of my brand new Speedo Aquablade Hydroshorts, bought online with a 15% discount thanks to the link from www.kelloggs.co.uk. As I got into Seb's car when he picked me up from my house, I said "I've got a surprise for you, Seb. I'll have to show you in the changing rooms". He raised his eyebrows and replied (not for the first time, worryingly enough) "Is this one of those 'friendship changing' surprises?".

In the changing room, in the presence of the regular runners getting suited up for their weekly jog, I started a drumroll as I pulled my trousers down and revealed my awesome Speedo Aquablade Hydroshorts!!!! I've seen Seb looking more comfortable in a situation. In fact, it's probably the second most uncomfortable I've seen him. The first prize goes to the time I tried to film him saying hello in a high pitched voice, back on the 2nd May 2007.

If I had to sum up, in one composite word, how it felt to swim with my brand spanking new Speedo Aquablade Hydroshorts, compared to how it was swimming with my old, heavy air-pocketed swimshorts, I would say this: Glidestream. Wow! How did I ever get through the water before? I felt like I was flying, a glidestroke; I was a dolphin!! I swam a kilometre in half an hour, but I stopped twice to have a good old fashioned chat with Seb, so I could have done it quicker, thanks to my new Speedo Aquablade Hydroshorts!!

In other news, I stayed stationary underwater for a full 51 seconds!! An improvement at last! I also swam 25 metres (1 length) underwater, mainly thanks to my new Spe- Oh you get the picture. The only disadvantage attached to the aforementioned swimwear is that, due to the Aquablade technology, they look like they are pinstriped, and so make me look and feel like some sort of amateur boxer from the 1930's. Never mind. What with the conversation turning to the respective huggability of our trunks (see Seb's skyscraper quote, above), and a chance meeting with an old school friend on the way out, I can describe this session in the same way I describe Kellogg's Frosties. They're more than good. They're Grrreat!!

This post was sponsored by the male and female West African frogs at Kellogg's and Speedo.